One way to scare off religious solicitors

So, back in 2011, I was majoring in theatre arts at the local college and was in the theatrical makeup class. It was the only class I had on Fridays and I frequently came home in whatever I had done that day in class to show my dad.

It was the week of Halloween and our teacher was teaching us “bloodies” (gore makeup), and my horror-obsessed, haunted house scare actor, “Fleet Street is the best stage blood” boasting self was going WILD. While most of the other students did a burn, a few bruises, maybe a gash on the arm…I made myself look like roadkill that also got mauled by a bear. It was A LOT, enough to get me pulled over by a concerned campus cop when I was leaving. I went home covered in fake blood, looking like hell and LOVING IT.

My dad told me to keep it on so my niece and nephews could see when they got there after school (they knew I had makeup class, I wasn’t going to scar them). So around 2:45pm, I hear a knock at the door. Well I decided to answer like a zombie to make them laugh.

I should note: I realize I should have probably checked to make sure it was them…

I answer the door slowly, dragging a foot, moaning “brains”…to see two Jehovah’s Witnesses go green and absolutely BOLT back to their bikes. I literally was still processing what had just happened as they peeled around the corner and my brother showed up with the kids…

To this day, my dad says he sees them actively avoid our door and once heard them refer to it as “the home of the devil.”